A Normal Family

So gay marriage is legal...finally.  And while this is not a post on whether or not it is right, I will say this: It does not matter if your religion believes it's right or wrong.  This is about equality.  You can still believe that homosexuality is a sin while still accepting that people have the right to make their own decisions and be treated equally.  Trust me, you can.  You do it all the time about other issues.

But enough about that.  I want to talk about children...because as the great Whitney Houston said, they are our future.

There is some debate about what a "normal family" is and what is the ideal situation for a child to be raised in.  I honestly don't even know what a normal family is.  I mean, if we look at the Bible, King David, who was chosen by God, had multiple wives and concubines, and I have a feeling that most Christians don't believe that's normal.  Teenage girls used to be married off for payment, and I don't think that's normal.  Kings used to behead their queens if they didn't give them a child...or a son.  For my LDS friends, there's really no way to deny that Joseph Smith had multiple wives, from 14 years old to 56 years old (see lds.org).  Is that normal or traditional?

There are arguments that say that children need a mom and a dad because males and females have different qualities and roles that children need in order to have a well-balanced upbringing.  I suppose this is the ideal. Mom, Dad, a son and a daughter. A perfect, loving family with a white-picket fence and big green yard to run around in.  Does it happen?  Yes, of course.  But is it the norm?  Absolutely not.

We live in an imperfect world.  One where divorce happens, where parents disappear, where people become addicted to drugs, where parents die, where babies are born drug-addicted or with life-threatening diseases and illnesses, where people abuse or neglect their children, where people become foster parents for the extra money instead of the suffering child, where people get pregnant on accident, where regular meals are unavailable, where adequate medical care is nonexistent, and so much more.  Unfortunately, we can't all be so lucky as to have been brought into this world with a mom and a dad who love and are committed to each other and their children, who plan for their children, and who are financially capable of raising their children.

So for those who believe that gay and lesbian couples should not be allowed to raise or adopt children, I ask you this: Does being a heterosexual couple always qualify a man and a woman to raise a child?  How many accidental pregnancies do we have in this country?  Probably more than planned pregnancies.  And how many of those couples are completely unqualified to raise a child, whether because they can't afford it, are too young, are drug-addicted, or a myriad of other things?  How many of these "heterosexual parents" become single parents because one of those "normal, straight parents" is a deadbeat?  Over 40% actually (see here).  But guess what.  Because they couldn't figure out how to properly use birth control, they are now raising a child that they have no business raising.  Do you believe that is stable?  Do you really believe that is the better option than gay parents?

Here are some staggering statistics for you from childhelp.org:

• Over 3 million reports of child abuse involving over 6 million children are made in the U.S. each year.
• Every day, between four and seven children die due to child abuse and neglect.
• 80% of child deaths due to child abuse and neglect have at least one parent as the perpetrator (so at least 1,168 children per year die at the hands of their parent).

That's just in the United States.  Are these parents more qualified than gay parents just because they're "normal" and straight?

What about foster care?  Is foster care a better option for the 463,000 children currently in U.S. foster care than two dads or two moms?  Before you answer, consider these statistics from childrenunitingnations.org and fosterclub.com:

• About 127,000 foster children are currently waiting to be adopted, and less than half of them will actually be adopted
• 65% of foster kids emancipate, or age-out, without a place to live (which is probably why 40% of all people living in homeless shelters are former foster children)
• Less than 3% go to college and 51% are unemployed

And what about kids who just don't have parents at all?  Or whose parents are completely incapable of providing for them?  Reading these statistics breaks my heart (from sos-usa.org and who.int):

• 153 million children have lost one or both parents worldwide
• 7.6 million children under the age of five die each year (2010)
• 19,000 children under the age of five die EVERY DAY (2011)
• "Around 70% of these early child deaths are due to conditions that could be prevented or treated with access to simple, affordable interventions."
• At least one-third of child deaths are from malnutrition.

Children are literally starving to death.  You and I have NEVER felt the pain they have felt.  Think back to the time you were most hungry, when you probably said "I'm so hungry I'm going to STARVE!!"  Multiply that times 10.  These kids feel that pain every day of their life.  Their entire existence is just hunger until they die of starvation.

From Wall Street OTC

I want you to think about what it takes for a homosexual couple to have a child.  Because there is absolutely no way for them to create a child naturally, they are very much like infertile heterosexual couples.  They have to invest time and money.  They have to specifically plan.  They usually have to pass psychological evaluations, home inspections, and so much more.  (Here's a ten-step overview of adoption, if you're interested.)  Their planning ALWAYS begins before pregnancy, while a fertile, heterosexual couple can get pregnant completely by accident.  I think this proves how committed they are to providing a loving and supportive home to a child who wouldn't otherwise have one.  And you better believe those children will KNOW how loved they are, how much they were wanted, and that they were not just a happy accident.

Right now, there are an estimated two million LGBT people who want to adopt. One-third of agencies will reject their applications simply because they are gay. When someone says that LGBT couples shouldn't be able to adopt for whatever reason, I have to believe that they can't possibly know these statistics. Because if they did, they could never say something so cold and so callous...that these children are better off dying of starvation, enduring child abuse, or just never having parents than having two dads or two moms.

This adorable family photo was found on Huffington Post
taken by Sara + Ryan Photography